In the previous article where we talked about doubting, confusion, and the over-analytical mind we said that we were creating interference. We learned that if we stayed in a state of over-analyticalness to such a point that it creates doubt and confusion or interference, then we would move to the next state which is self-cruelty.
This is a tendency in the mind to wound the self through thought. The spirit, or essence of who we are, is weeping in the background wondering why we are being so hard on ourselves. This is self-criticalness, the inner judge. It’s literally being very hard on ourselves mentally. It’s negative self-talk.
…Cruelty to oneself, regardless of degree, originates from unexpressed suffering. It can be a misguided attempt to build self-esteem in being able to endure pain, or can be a means of self-punishment because one feels unworthy, or to simply have the sensation and visual physical proof that one is alive. The roots of these acts stem from a desire to be heard, listened to and treated with humane respect and love. Cruelty to oneself can also take many forms such as over-eating, smoking, drug taking, the excessive consumption of alcohol, over-exercising, workaholism, reckless driving, pathological gambling, compulsive shopping, excessive risk taking and self-sabotaging behaviors. In each of these situations, the individual has lost the sense that she or he is an individual of unique quality and has become fixated on what they perceive they do not have, whether this may mean money, prestige, “looks,” power, intelligence, education, a nurturing relationship or whatever the individual feels is missing in one’s life…
“Kenneth Hemmerick” https://www.humaneguide.com/cruelself.html
If we continue to stay with our inner critical thoughts long enough, we will move into the state of mind which is fear of ruin.
What’s important about this is that this is the point where we make a mental decision and believe that things are not going to work. Basically, we have made a conscious choice that things are not going to work.
How To Overcome These Destructive Habits
Self-cruelty and the fear of ruin are two of the most common destructive habits that people face in their lives. These habits can hold us back from reaching our full potential, making progress toward our goals, and living our lives to the fullest. In this article, we will explore what these habits are, how they manifest, and most importantly, how to overcome them.
What is Self-Cruelty?
Self-cruelty is the act of being overly critical of oneself. It is the tendency to beat oneself up over mistakes, shortcomings, or perceived failures. When people engage in self-cruelty, they often have negative self-talk that can be damaging to their self-esteem and their ability to achieve their goals.
The root of self-cruelty often lies in childhood experiences, such as being criticized or shamed by parents or authority figures. Over time, this self-criticism becomes a habit that is difficult to break.
How to Overcome Self-Cruelty?
The first step in overcoming self-cruelty is to recognize when it is happening. This requires self-awareness and mindfulness. By paying attention to your thoughts and feelings, you can catch yourself when you are being overly critical of yourself.
Once you have recognized self-cruelty, you can start to challenge it. Ask yourself whether the negative self-talk is accurate or whether it is an overgeneralization. Reframe your thoughts to be more positive and realistic. For example, instead of saying “I’m a failure,” say “I made a mistake, but I can learn from it and do better next time.”
Another effective way to overcome self-cruelty is to practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and support, just as you would treat a good friend. Acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments, and focus on your progress rather than your setbacks.
What is Fear of Ruin?
Fear of ruin is the fear of losing everything or experiencing a catastrophic failure. This fear can be paralyzing and can prevent people from taking risks or pursuing their dreams. It often stems from a lack of confidence and a belief that one is not capable of handling challenges or setbacks.
How to Overcome Fear of Ruin?
The first step in overcoming fear of ruin is to recognize that it is a normal human emotion. Everyone experiences fear at some point in their lives, and it is not a sign of weakness.
To overcome the fear of ruin, it is important to identify the root of the fear. Ask yourself what specifically you are afraid of losing, and what the worst-case scenario would be. Then, challenge these thoughts by asking yourself how likely they are to come true, and what you could do to prevent or overcome them.
Another effective way to overcome the fear of ruin is to take small steps toward your goal. By breaking down your goal into smaller, more manageable steps, you can build your confidence and prove to yourself that you are capable of handling challenges and setbacks.
In Ifá, the teachings about self-cruelty and fear of ruin are rooted in the concept of Ori.
Ori is the Yoruba word for one’s destiny or personal spiritual consciousness. It is believed that every person has their own Ori, which is unique to them and contains their individual destiny. Ori is seen as a guiding force in a person’s life, and it is believed that a person’s life path and purpose can be realized by connecting with their Ori.
In Ifá, self-cruelty is seen as a negative force that can interfere with a person’s connection to their Ori. When a person engages in negative self-talk or is overly critical of themselves, they are not in alignment with their Ori. This can lead to feelings of doubt, insecurity, and low self-esteem, which can negatively impact a person’s ability to fulfill their destiny.
The teachings of Ifa emphasize the importance of cultivating a positive relationship with one’s Ori. This involves recognizing one’s strengths and accomplishments and focusing on the positive aspects of oneself. By connecting with one’s Ori and embracing one’s true self, a person can overcome self-cruelty and cultivate a sense of inner peace and self-confidence.
In Ifá Fear of ruin is seen as a manifestation of a person’s lack of trust in their Ori and their ability to fulfill their destiny. When a person is overcome by the fear of ruin, they are often afraid to take risks or pursue their goals, which can prevent them from fulfilling their potential.
To overcome the fear of ruin, the Ifa encourage individuals to trust in their Ori and have faith in their ability to overcome challenges. By cultivating a positive relationship with one’s Ori and developing a strong sense of self, individuals can overcome their fears and pursue their dreams with confidence
The teachings of Ifa emphasize the importance of connecting with one’s Ori to overcome self-cruelty and fear of ruin. By embracing one’s true self and cultivating a positive relationship with one’s Ori, individuals can overcome negative self-talk, develop a strong sense of self, and pursue their goals with confidence.
Self-cruelty and fear of ruin are two destructive habits that can hold us back from reaching our full potential. By recognizing these habits and taking steps to overcome them, we can improve our self-esteem, build our confidence, and pursue our dreams. Remember to practice self-awareness, challenge negative thoughts, and practice self-compassion. And always remember that taking small steps toward your goal is better than not taking any steps at all.