As human beings, we all have a deep desire to be loved and accepted. This is a universal need that transcends culture, race, gender, and age. However, in our pursuit of love and acceptance, we often become stuck in the pattern of trying to be loved for what we are not. We put on a mask and pretend to be someone we’re not, believing that this is the only way to gain love and approval. But the truth is that this approach only leads to a life that is unfulfilling and lacking in authenticity.
In this article, we will explore why it’s much better to face the fear of accepting what you are and what you are not. I will give guidance on how you can discover what it is that you think would happen if you let go of trying to be what you think will cause you to be loved and instead, make the most of what you are. I will also give examples of how you can find personal empowerment by figuring out where your actual power lies. So, let’s dive in.
When we say we want to be loved, we’re not always talking about love. Sometimes, we’re talking about validation. We’re talking about getting the approval and acceptance of others. We’re talking about feeling like we fit in and belong. But this is not love. Love is accepting someone for who they are, not who they pretend to be. When we try to be loved for what we’re not, we’re actually betraying ourselves. We’re denying ourselves the opportunity to be loved for who we truly are.
One of the reasons we get stuck in this pattern of trying to be loved for what we’re not is that we have a deep-seated fear of rejection. We believe that if we show our true selves, people won’t like us. We think that we’re not good enough just as we are. This fear is often rooted in childhood experiences, where we may have been rejected or criticized for being ourselves.
The problem with this approach is that it leads to a life that is lacking in authenticity. We’re constantly pretending to be someone we’re not, and this takes a toll on our mental health and well-being. We become disconnected from our true selves, and this can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
So, how can we find personal empowerment by accepting ourselves? The first step is to figure out where our actual power lies. Often, we give away our power by seeking external validation. We believe that if we can just get others to like us, then we’ll be happy. But happiness is an inside job. It comes from within. True personal empowerment comes from accepting ourselves and loving ourselves unconditionally.
When we accept ourselves, we can begin to let go of the fear of not being good enough. We can begin to see ourselves as worthy and deserving of love, just as we are. We can start to recognize our own strengths and talents and use them to create a fulfilling life.
One way to discover what you think would happen if you let go of trying to be what you think will cause you to be loved is to ask yourself the following questions:
- What am I afraid of if I show my true self?
- What do I think will happen if I’m not who others want me to be?
- What negative beliefs do I have about myself that are holding me back?
By answering these questions, you can begin to uncover the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck. You can start to challenge these beliefs and replace them with more positive and empowering ones.
It’s essential to recognize that facing the fear of accepting ourselves can be challenging. We’ve spent so long trying to be someone else that we may not even know who we truly are. But this is where personal growth and self-discovery come in. It takes time, effort, and self-reflection to peel away the layers of the persona that we’ve created and discover who we really are. But the journey of self-discovery is worth it because it leads to a life that is authentic, fulfilling, and full of purpose.
One way to start the journey of self-discovery is to get in touch with your values. Your values are the things that are most important to you in life. They are the guiding principles that inform your decisions and actions. When you’re living in alignment with your values, you feel fulfilled and satisfied.
To discover your values, start by asking yourself the following questions:
- What is most important to me in life?
- What do I want to stand for?
- What motivates me to get out of bed in the morning?
Once you’ve identified your values, you can start to align your actions with them. This means making choices that are in line with your values, even if they’re not the easiest or most popular choices. When you’re living in alignment with your values, you’re living an authentic life that is true to who you are.
Another way to find personal empowerment is to develop a growth mindset. A growth mindset is a belief that our abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work, dedication, and perseverance. When we have a growth mindset, we see challenges as opportunities for growth, and we’re willing to take risks and make mistakes in the pursuit of our goals.
To develop a growth mindset, start by embracing challenges. Instead of shying away from difficult tasks, approach them with a sense of curiosity and a willingness to learn. When you make mistakes, don’t beat yourself up about them. Instead, see them as opportunities for growth and learning. Finally, celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may be. By focusing on the progress you’ve made, you’ll be more motivated to continue growing and improving.
It’s important to note that accepting ourselves doesn’t mean that we stop striving for self-improvement. It simply means that we stop trying to be someone we’re not in order to gain approval and acceptance from others. When we accept ourselves, we can continue to grow and improve, but we do so from a place of self-love and self-acceptance.
So, why is it so much better to face the fear of accepting what you are and what you are not? For starters, it leads to a life that is authentic and fulfilling. When we stop pretending to be someone we’re not, we can connect with others on a deeper level because we’re no longer hiding behind a mask. We can create genuine relationships based on mutual acceptance and love.
Accepting ourselves also leads to increased self-esteem and self-confidence. When we’re not constantly seeking external validation, we’re more likely to believe in ourselves and our abilities. We’re more likely to take risks and pursue our goals because we’re not afraid of failure or rejection.
Finally, accepting ourselves leads to a greater sense of inner peace and contentment. When we’re not constantly striving to be someone we’re not, we can relax and enjoy life for what it is. We can appreciate the simple things and find joy in the present moment.
It’s a journey that requires time, effort, and self-reflection, but the rewards are worth it. By accepting ourselves, we can connect with others on a deeper level, believe in ourselves and our abilities, and find inner peace and contentment.
If you’re struggling with accepting yourself, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Many people struggle with this, and it’s okay to ask for help. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate this journey.
One of the most important things to remember is that it’s okay to be imperfect. We all have flaws and make mistakes, but that doesn’t make us any less deserving of love and acceptance. Embrace your imperfections and see them as part of what makes you unique and special.
Another helpful practice is self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend who is struggling. Instead of beating yourself up for your mistakes or shortcomings, offer yourself words of encouragement and support.
Lastly, it’s important to set boundaries and surround yourself with people who accept and love you for who you are. Let go of relationships or situations that make you feel like you have to be someone you’re not. Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you to be your authentic self.
What Does Ifá Say About This?
One Odu that comes to mind in relation to this topic is Odu Ogbe Otura.
Ogbe Otura teaches us the importance of embracing our true selves and not trying to be someone we’re not. It tells us that we should be proud of who we are and celebrate our unique qualities and talents. Here is a quote from Ogbe Otura:
“Ogbe Otura says that we should not try to be someone else, but rather embrace our true selves. We should not be ashamed of our unique qualities and talents, but celebrate them and use them to create a fulfilling life.”
This Odu reminds us that true personal empowerment comes from accepting ourselves and loving ourselves unconditionally. We should not try to be someone we’re not in order to gain approval or acceptance from others. Instead, we should embrace our true selves and use our unique qualities and talents to create a life that is authentic and fulfilling.
In conclusion, the pattern of trying to be loved for what we’re not is a trap that many of us fall into. We believe that if we can just be what others want us to be, then we’ll be loved and accepted. But the truth is that this approach only leads to a life that is unfulfilling and lacking in authenticity. True personal empowerment comes from accepting ourselves and loving ourselves unconditionally. By figuring out where our actual power lies, facing the fear of accepting ourselves, and discovering our true desires, we can create a life that is authentic and fulfilling. You deserve it.
